It’s the middle of a Monday afternoon, my day off from usual ministry tasks. It’s very hot and I’m trying to cool off by sipping a glass of iced tea. I just finished cutting back a wild vine that’s been growing out of control on the fence lining our property. I decided I needed a break from working out in the hot sun and thought I’d use the time to respond to your letter I received two days ago.

I feel the same as you do. There are many times I experience a sense of inadequacy when facing life’s problems or trying to live for God. I really wonder what in the world God can possibly do with me.

At such times I’ve discovered I have a choice. I can give in to despair and give up or I can acknowledge my dependence on God and, with His help, move ahead. I remember reading someplace that God doesn’t call the qualified but qualifies the called! The fact that I feel a sense of personal inadequacy opens me up to experiencing the adequacy of God.

Remember how I shared in my last letter about having a daily, even moment-by-moment sense of God’s presence? A significant benefit of living this way is that we become aware of God’s daily and even moment-by-moment help.

The trimming of the vine reminds me of an experiment I conducted a few years ago. Near our church is a small park with a tall chain-link fence surrounding a tennis court. A large, wild vine was growing on the fence. Reaching up, I broke off one small branch of the vine but left it in place. Stepping back, I couldn’t even see which branch I had broken; it looked just like the others. A couple of days later I came back and it was obvious which branch I had broken from the vine. The hot summer weather had caused it to shrivel up and turn brown. The contrast with the surrounding attached green branches still drawing life-giving nutrients from the vine was obvious.

I did the little experiment to act out an analogy Jesus used in teaching His disciples. He said that He was the vine and they were the branches and that apart from Him they could do nothing. When tempted by either pride at what I think I can do or by discouragement at what I think I can’t do, I try to remember Jesus’ words and how I’m dependent on Him.

It’s funny how we usually interpret a feeling of inadequacy as negative and a sense of self-confidence as positive. My understanding of God and His ways is that we should be responding exactly the opposite way. It’s when I feel self-confident that I tend to drift from God. My awareness of the adequacy of God grows in direct proportion to my growing sense of my own inadequacy. I’m learning to interpret my inadequacy as a positive, because it draws me to a closer and deeper experience of God. On the other hand, when I feel self-confident an uneasiness comes over me because I know it’s a threat to my relationship with God. And God knows it, too! I suspect that’s why He likes to keep me in situations where it’s obvious I can’t handle things on my own but need His help.

That’s OK, because I’ve found that having confidence in God is better than self-confidence any day. I can always count on God more than myself. After all, His resources are unlimited, His wisdom is beyond measure, and His love for me knows no bounds.

The fact that you’re concerned about being able to live up to Christ’s expectations for you is a good sign. It puts you right where Christ wants you: in a position of being dependent on Him. We need His help to be His people.

My iced tea is gone, this letter is written, and I’m cooled off. I guess I’d better get back outside and do some more yard work.

A fellow seeker after truth,
Dave