They walk among us!
An e-mail I received kept reminding me of that as I read the author’s experience with people he knows. He wrote, “When looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction north was — because, he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, ‘Does the sun rise in the north?’ When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for some time, she shook her head and said, ‘Oh, I don’t keep up with that stuff.’”
They walk among us!
He continued, “I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, ‘The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week.’ He responded, ‘Is that Eastern or Pacific time?’ Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, ‘Uh, Pacific.’”
They walk among us!
The author added, “While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone, so the cook asked him if he’d like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought for some time before responding, ‘Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.’”
They walk among us!
That e-mail reminded me of some other situations that we all face.
A person made a cutting remark and it hurt us deeply.
They walk among us!
Someone we thought really cared about us seems to ignore what we’re going through.
They walk among us!
We went out of our way for someone; now we need some help, and they’re not there.
They walk among us!
We really put our hope in someone, thinking they’d come through, but they let us down badly.
They walk among us!

The Problem
We really have two things working against us regarding the people who walk among us. The first is that we find it hard to relate in a positive way to people who annoy us or hurt us. Second, given enough time, all people will eventually annoy us or hurt us!
We all tend to pull back from people who annoy or hurt us, but if we keep doing that we’ll have fewer and fewer relationships. It reminds me of the man who said to his friend, “The whole world’s a bit strange except for you and me, and even you’re a little odd.”
The better we get to know people, the more things we find out about them that we don’t like. The longer we work somewhere, the more we find out what’s wrong with it — and especially with the people who work there. The longer we’re a part of an organization, club, or even a church, the more we find out what we don’t like about it or the people who are a part of it.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that if we’re going to move beyond loneliness we have to figure out how to deal with “people pain” in our lives. Otherwise it will push us farther and farther away from more and more people until we’re all by ourselves.
On a practical, personal, and even what you could call selfish level, it makes sense for us to get better at responding to “people hurt” in a positive way; otherwise we’re always going to be hurt, angry, and lonely. If we want to move away from loneliness, we have to learn to deal with people hurt — and that means cutting people some slack. People are simply NOT going to always measure up to our expectations or standards. Unless we learn to cut people some slack, we’re going to be victimized by other people’s annoying or even sinful behavior.

What God Wants Us to Do
Because you’re here in this worship service (or taking the time and effort to read this or listen to the audio version), you probably have some motivation to be open to God and His leading for your life. Even if you’re a spiritual seeker, you’re probably curious about what God has to say about all of this; it will affect your analysis of whether you want to pursue a relationship with God.
Here’s how Jesus put it: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35) Jesus wasn’t just talking about being nice to people when they’re nice to us. Jesus also said, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23-24) Jesus was making it very clear that He can’t get anywhere with a relationship with us if we’re ignoring what’s wrong with our relationships with the people He’s placed around us.
Jesus taught this principle in the model prayer He gave us called The Lord’s Prayer. “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.” (Luke 11:4) I like the way a 6-year-old understood this part of the Lord’s Prayer. He prayed, “And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who have passed trash against us.” People pass trash to us in life, and we’re called upon to forgive them for the trash they’ve passed us!
We often assume that God is on our side when it comes to a hurtful situation with someone, but we might be assuming too much! Best-selling author Anne Lamott wrote, “You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”

Virtues That Make Lasting Relationships
What does it take to survive in a world of imperfect people and to even have thriving relationships with people who often annoy us and sometimes hurt us? Let me share five virtues of a person who will never be without meaningful relationships.
These five virtues are listed by the apostle Paul in his letter to the Christians at Colosse (a letter that’s in our Bibles, known as Colossians). Paul begins, “Clothe yourselves with . . .” (Colossians 3:12) He uses the term “clothe,” which of course means “to put on.” The phrase reminded me of paper dolls that little girls play with, putting clothes on them — the two-dimensional dolls that wear two-dimensional clothes held on by tabs. (You women played with such dolls when you were young, and some of you men were probably forced to play with them by your sisters or cousins. I know it left you men emotionally wounded, but consider the image again anyway.) Picture a paper doll and picture five pieces of clothes, each marked with one of the following words: “[Clothe yourselves with] compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” (Colossians 3:12) Remember, we’re supposed to be wearing these five virtues whether someone we know is wearing them or not! There’s no qualification that we’re supposed to put on these virtues only if the person we’re relating to has put them on.
COMPASSION: Compassion means caring about the other person, trying to understand what’s happened in his life. It includes the idea of empathizing. Sometimes when someone has treated us in a hurtful way it helps to try to figure out what they’ve been through — or might be going through. “Empathizing” describes this effort. Almost always someone who treats us badly has had bad things happen in his or her life — things that have contributed to their present hurtful behavior. This doesn’t excuse them, but it does help to explain their behavior! There’s a proper way to feel sorry for a person who sometimes finds it necessary to treat us badly.
KINDNESS: Kindness means doing nice things for people and saying nice things to them. “Can I pick up anything for you? I’m going that way anyway.” “Here, let me help you with that.” “That’s a super job you did!” Kindness isn’t usually perceived by most of us as a huge, sacrificial action; it’s a part of the small, daily ways we relate to someone. The test of this virtue is whether or not we can be kind to someone who just a short time ago was NOT kind to us.
HUMILITY: Humility means thinking less about yourself and more about the other person. Many times when someone hurts us it’s good to remember that it’s not all about us; we shouldn’t take everything so personally! If someone else had been in our place when someone lashed out at us, nine times out of ten that other person would have gotten the same tongue-lashing we got! The person who was angry had a bad day or was looking for a fight; it wasn’t really about you, so don’t take it so personally!
GENTLENESS: Gentleness means not pulling out the big artillery, not using harsher words than necessary, not responding with an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. A conflict quickly escalates when we match weaponry with a person who’s hurt us. It doesn’t mean that we should just take it; there are many times when love needs to be tough and honest. However, we’re called upon to be as gentle as Christ calls us to be in the situation.
PATIENCE: Patience means putting up with other people even when we’re fed up with them. It means learning not to expect too much from people. A great deal of the harm done to relationships that are already tense is the result of impatience.

Facing the Challenge
Of course none of this is easy. I suspect that’s why Paul used the phrase “Bear with each other” (Colossians 3:13). That’s a good word for it, don’t you think? The original Greek word that Paul used is often translated as “forbearing.” In the dictionary “forbear” means “endure, refrain, restrain [one’s self, not the other person in a choke hold!], hold back, to control oneself when provoked, patient, lenient.” To bear with each other: that’s the most realistic way of putting it. No one ever said that maintaining good relationships was going to be easy!
It will probably also involve forgiving other people. Paul wrote, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. . . .” (Colossians 3:13) All of this can seem almost impossible, but let’s look at the most important key for having thriving relationships with everyone around us.

With God It’s Possible!
At the beginning of these two verses we find the way to thrive in relationships with imperfect people. Paul wrote, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, . . .” (Colossians 3:12) God has chosen you! In other words, He really, really wants you to be near Him.
Think about it! God has made you different: holy, like He is. If you’ve accepted His forgiveness, you’re holy in His eyes. We’re supposed to be different: “holy” means to be set apart. We’re to be like Jesus!
Think about it! We’re dearly loved! Our main source of ego gratification doesn’t come from other people and their acceptance and love of us. It’s meant to come from the Lord! When we get our main source of self-worth from other people, we run into trouble. We’re making them into gods, trying to have them provide us with ultimate satisfaction — which is something they can’t deliver. Only when the Lord is the most important One in our lives do we have the inner strength and resources to accept, tolerate, put up with, bear with, and forgive others.
The original statement we quoted from Jesus is “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35) Right doctrine — belief about God and Jesus — is important, but what really identifies us as His people is our ability to cut people some slack.
The recent murder of Amish children in their school has shocked the nation. However, the Amish have been vocal about the need to forgive. How amazing that is! How can they forgive? They state it plainly: it’s because of their faith, because of Christ!




Jesus prayed to the Heavenly Father about the people crucifying Him. “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)