I'm holding a length of wire that's bent every few inches. A wire that’s bent like this reminds me of one of the greatest threats to living life well and for the pleasure of God. That threat is what I call “the greener grass syndrome”: we think that life is confining and think it would be greener on the other side of the fence.

Why does a wire bent this way make me think about the greener grass syndrome? On the farm where I grew up, we had miles of barbed wire to enclose the cow pasture and the lane leading to the pasture. Those wires would sometimes become slack, drooping between fence posts.

Why? Because the cows grazing on the pasture or in the lane would see the grass on the other side of the fence, poke their heads between the wires, and lean and push to get at the grass.

Why? Because — you guessed it — the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence!

Bending a wire like this by putting it between the claws of a hammer and twisting the hammer handle produces the bend, tightening a slack wire. This was done because the cows persisted in believing that the grass was better on the other side of the fence.

Cows aren’t alone in thinking this way! Though we’re not usually confined by literal fences, we humans often yearn for what’s beyond what we have. This isn’t always good! King David's experience is a case in point.

KING DAVID’S FENCE
King David had it made. He was a great king of Israel, and he still ranks as the greatest king the Israelis have ever had. Yet one sleepless night he wanted what he didn’t have, what wasn’t his to have, and what he shouldn't have had.

Sleeplessness drove him to the roof of his palace, and he saw a woman bathing in a nearby house. She was beautiful, and David asked his staff who she was. Her name was Bathsheba; she was the daughter of Iliam and the wife of Uriah, one of the officers in David's army that was currently away, fighting a war. The record states what happened next: “Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her.” (2 Samuel 11:4)

Some time later Bathsheba sent word to King David that she was pregnant with his child. David orchestrated things so that Uriah came home on leave. The idea was that Uriah would spend time with his wife and then he would assume that the child eventually born to Bathsheba was his. However, Uriah decided that he wouldn't enjoy any of the pleasures that his men, who were still out on the battlefield, couldn't enjoy — including being with their wives. King David had to go to Plan B, which involved having Uriah put at the front of the battle line, where he was sure to be killed. He was killed, and King David was free to take the widow Bathsheba as his wife. It appeared that David had maneuvered his way successfully through some very murky, muddy waters.

Then Nathan the prophet came calling on King David. He had a story to tell the king. There were two men: one was very rich, with huge flocks of sheep and herds of cattle. The other man had only one lamb, which was the family pet.

The rich man had a surprise visit from a friend, and he needed to provide his guest with a meal. He proceeded to take the family pet of his poor neighbor and butcher it to feed his guest.

When King David heard the story he thought that Nathan was reporting on a true event and that he was asking the king to act justly in the case. King David was indignant with the rich neighbor: “As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this deserves to die!” he said.

What Nathan did next must have taken all of the courage and faith he could muster. He said to the great King David, the man who had the power to command the death of anyone who annoyed him, “You are the man!”

Nathan then explained to David that the Lord was very, very displeased with him. He had given David so much and had allowed him to have far more than most people could ever dream of having. David had even been allowed, though certainly it wasn't God's ideal plan, to have many wives and concubines. (According to the record in 1 Chronicles David had seven wives: Ahinoam, Abigail, Maacah, Hagith, Abital, Eglah, and Mical, and concubines — probably many of them.) With at least nine women at his beck and call, King David stole the one and only wife of a man who served him in his military!

The book of Proverbs speaks clearly and vividly about the sin of adultery: “Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.” (Proverbs 5:15,18)

Bathsheba’s baby died, and David and his descendants had all kinds of trouble. The Lord forgave David after the very moving poem he wrote in a prayer to God that we know as Psalm 51. Bathsheba became the mother of Solomon, the next great king, and Jesus came through this lineage. God is full of grace and mercy! Nevertheless, this event stands as a blot on King David's life.

David should have been satisfied with what he had, but he wasn’t. He gave in to the great temptation of wanting the grass on the other side of the fence because it looked greener.

THE APOSTLE PAUL’S FENCE
Paul was in prison. He hadn’t done anything wrong; he had done everything right! He was in prison for preaching the message of Jesus, and he was writing a letter to the Christians at Philippi.

Paul had been jailed for doing what the Lord had told him to do. He was no longer free to go around and preach the message of Jesus, which was something he loved to do. Paul is famous for making at least three long missionary journeys, and he didn’t like to stay in one place very long — but now he had to. He could have very easily envied the other apostles of Jesus, who were free to travel and preach. Certainly if anyone ever had a reason to see that the grass was greener on the other side of the fence (or cell bars, or whatever), it was Paul.

However, notice what he wrote: “Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel.” (Philippians 1:12) He explained that he was able to preach the message of Jesus to the palace guard. He also stated that other Christians, inspired by him, had a new boldness in proclaiming the message of Jesus. He saw God working in marvelous ways through his confinement. How amazing! Paul didn't fixate on what he didn't have or couldn't do; he concentrated on what he did have and what he could do. He didn't give in to the greener grass syndrome.

FINDING LIFE ON THIS SIDE OF THE FENCE
These two stories — one from the Old Testament and one from the New Testament, one about a great king called by God and the other about a great apostle called by God, one about a man who couldn't stand to be limited and another about a man who thrived within his limitations — make clear the importance of living within the boundaries God has for us. King David himself, at some point in his life, affirmed the value of good boundaries. He wrote, “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” (Psalm 16:6)

It’s often difficult to affirm that our boundaries in life, the circumstances that confine us, are good. We’re often tempted to think that our lives would be much better if we had different jobs or different houses, if we lived in a different locality or had different mates or a different marital status, if the churches that we attend were different, or if our health situations were different.

We want what we don't have, and we don't want what we're stuck with. We envy people who have what we don't have and who don't have what we're stuck with.

THE DECEPTIVE GREEN GRASS
Just because the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is. Appearances can be deceiving. Take the desire to live somewhere else, for example. Certain places have an aura of attractiveness about them: places like Arizona, California, and Florida. Over the years I've taken study leaves and attended conferences of one kind or another in those states. Do you ever wonder why conferences are never held in North Dakota? North Dakota may have nice qualities, but not many of us know what they are. Do we even know someone from North Dakota? Does anyone actually live there? I suspect that the North Dakota Conference Bureau has a small staff.

At any rate, I've been in Arizona, California, and Florida. I guess they can be nice places, but I took an early morning walk at each place and I noticed that the people there have to take their garbage to the curb just like you and I do. Do you know what else? The garbage smells just as bad there as it does here in Toledo! There's no perfect place this side of heaven where we’ll be totally happy.

People buy new and bigger houses and still have to work at their marriages. We buy a new gadget and it thrills us for a short time, but soon we realize that we’re beginning to get tired of it — or that there's a newer, bigger, fancier one available, and we wish we had that one instead.

I’ve counseled couples where one of them thought the grass was greener on the outside of marriage, with someone else, but almost always heartbreak and tragedy result. What was thought to be green grass turned out to be poison ivy.

THE TRULY GREENER GRASS
“But sometimes the grass is truly greener on the other side of the fence,” we argue. That’s true; sometimes it is.

This past Tuesday morning I saw an example of that. It was before 8 a.m., and Diann and I were about to drive home from Iowa. I was taking my morning walk on the gravel road south of my mother’s house on the edge of Parkersburg. I walked as far as a farm where some cattle were grazing in the pasture. Then I saw a cow leaning through the barbed wire fence, straining its neck. It was chewing contentedly on some luscious, green leaves from the cornfield that bordered the pasture. There was good grass on the cow’s side of the fence, but the corn was a tastier treat.

Sometimes it is better on the other side of the fence. It certainly was for that cow, but did that make it right? The cow doesn't see the big picture. She can't know that the corn leaves should be left alone so that the plant produces ears of corn that will eventually make up the cow’s winter feed when the grass is under two feet of snow. Only the farmer knows this — and the farmer will have to take his hammer out there and twist the wire to make it tight so that the cows don't eventually push their way through and ruin the corn.

The cow doesn't know that; it can't ever know that. The cow can't understand that there's a reason for the fence and that she should stay on her side of it. We're supposed to be smarter than cows: we can, and should, know better. Just because things look greener on the other side of the fence it doesn’t necessarily mean that we should push our way through. God has a special place for each of us.

WHEN WE’RE FENCE-SITTING
Aren't there times, however, when we should try something new, move ahead in some way, and leave the old and familiar behind? Of course! How do we know when we should push beyond current circumstances and when we should see them as the boundaries we’re called to live within? How do we know which side of the fence we should be on? Is the greener grass on the other side a temptation of the devil or a call from God?

If I had an easy answer to that, I'd be a best-selling author — and very rich! Suffice it to say that the Bible suggests that we need to (1) depend on the Holy Spirit, (2) follow any appropriate commands and teachings of Scripture that may be relevant, (3) see what gates of opportunity may open, and (4) look to the wise counsel of others.

When we're truly open to being where God wants us to be, He’ll provide the way for us to figure that out. We'll never really know God's best, good will for us if we give in to the temptation of the supposedly greener grass on the other side of the fence. We aren’t supposed to go where the grass is greener; we’re supposed to be where the Lord calls us to be!