Our daughter-in-law Teri is a counselor and family therapist. She was talking with a client about having a deeper relationship with God. The woman said she prayed, but Teri wanted to pursue what kind of praying she did. She asked the woman, “What if your best friend was spending the day with you? Even though you were busy dealing with the kids and everything else, wouldn't you include her in your activities, talking to her throughout the day, or would you act as if she wasn't in the room?”

If we're going to experience closeness to God, He has to be a real part of each day. We can't go through our days largely ignoring Him.

We're starting a four-part series on growing spiritually, which is sometimes called spiritual formation. Our prayer life — talking to God — is foundational to a deep, growing relationship with God! Spiritual formation happens, first of all, when we’re serious about improving our daily connection with the Lord.

WANTING MORE OF GOD
While we were visiting our daughter Julie and her family in Mexico we went tent camping. It was the dry season, and the place where we camped was really dry! The campground itself was tucked among some small streams fed by springs. It was an oasis in the dry land, but all I had to do was walk out of the driveway of the campground and cross the dirt road and I was in a desert-like landscape. The sun was bright and hot, and my throat soon became dry as I hiked. It was a dry and thirsty land. Few plants were growing, and the burros that I saw had to look hard for anything to munch on.

It reminded me of what King David wrote in one of his psalms: “O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” (Psalm 63:1) David had to flee for his life into the desert to escape one of his enemies who wanted to take over his kingship of Israel. That enemy was his third son, Absalom! Imagine being pursued by an enemy who was your own son! David had been driven to a bad place in life: not only was he in a dry, thirsty land, he was fleeing from his own son! Life doesn't get much worse than that, and in the middle of it all David sensed his great need to be restored by the Lord.

I actually enjoyed walking in that dry, thirsty land in Mexico because it reminded me of how much I should thirst after God. I looked forward to drinking water when I got back to the campground; do I yearn that much to drink more of God?

When I returned to the campground, I was in an oasis with waterfalls and palm trees. King David dreamed of being satisfied by God and His good things: “My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.” (Psalm 63:5)

David saw God as his friend and thought about Him even during the insomnia that comes with sleeping in the wilderness under less-than-ideal conditions: “On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” (Psalm 63:6-8) Those are the words of a powerful man who was a great military man and a great leader. He was what you could call a man's man, but he was unashamed of waxing poetic about how he yearned for God — and how much he thought about God, needed Him, and delighted in Him.

Do you want more of God? God becomes more real to us through regular, consistent conversation with Him, maintaining an ongoing connection with Him through prayer. Let's remind ourselves of some aspects of prayer that are important for nurturing a deeper relationship with God and living lives of purpose for His glory.

PRAYER CHANGES THINGS
It has often been said that prayer changes things, and it does! God has so designed this world that He won’t do many of the things He wants to do unless we unleash His will in prayer.

The apostle Paul wrote, “For we are God's fellow workers; . . .” (1 Corinthians 3:9) We’re co-laborers with God; He wants to partner with us to carry out His great, grand purposes. The fact is that when we pray we unleash God’s plans — and when we fail to pray, we inhibit His plans.

Once Jesus' disciples, who had gotten to be pretty good at doing miracles, couldn't cast out a demon. They asked, “Why couldn't we drive it out?” and Jesus replied, “This kind can come out only by prayer.” (Mark 9:28-29)

I picture the way prayer works by imagining a fully-loaded dump truck with its load hoisted high. The load is ready to be dumped; that is, it has been hoisted up and has slid hard against the tailgate. One thing remains to be done: someone must unlatch the tailgate, and then the load will flow out. Prayer is like unlatching that tailgate. God's provision is near, but we have a small, strategic part to play: we must unlatch it, or unleash it, by asking God to act.

Prayer changes things! We need to pray, believing that God will unleash His good.

PRAYER CHANGES US
Prayer not only changes things, it changes us! This is an often-overlooked part of prayer. Richard Foster, in his book Celebration of Discipline, wrote, “Prayer is the central venue God uses to transform us.” (p.33) He went on, “In prayer, real prayer, we begin to think God's thoughts after Him.” (p.33)

You can't enter into regular, daily conversation with someone and not be influenced by that person. So it is with daily conversation with God.

Sometimes we realize that we need an attitude adjustment. Maybe we're down a lot of the time, or we're impatient with people or circumstances, or we're being critical of everyone and everything. Go to the Lord in prayer! Confess it; talk about it with Him; pour out your heart. He’ll work with you to make you a new person! After he had really messed up his life, King David prayed, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10) I often find myself praying, “Renew a right spirit within me, O Lord.” Prayer not only changes other people and the world around us, it changes us, too!

SPIRITUAL READING
One of the best ways to keep prayer fresh and meaningful is to pray in response to something God has written to us. In other words, part of prayer can and should be a response on our part to something we've read in His Word, the Bible, or in some other spiritual writing.

What we're talking about here isn’t a quick reading of a small or large portion of Scripture. The old “speed reading” techniques that were taught years ago have little place in the reading of the Bible or other religious literature.

Slow, reflective reading is required. The old term for this is “lectio divina.” I encourage you to read a small portion of God's Word each day. You don’t need to read more than a chapter, and a smaller portion is probably better: the amount contained under a bold heading in most of our modern translations would be good. If you're just starting this, I'd recommend the gospel of Mark. If you're using Our Daily Bread, the daily devotional that we hand out here at church, read that Scripture and devotional with an effort to really concentrate. You might want use just one verse of Scripture. Each day on my web site (www.daveclaassen.com) there's a single Bible verse, new each day, provided courtesy of www.biblegateway.com . Just ask yourself, “Why might the Lord have me reading this today?”

The four specific parts of lectio divina that help a person figure out what God is saying are:
1. Reading (careful reading and re-reading of Scripture or other spiritual writing)
2. Meditation (taking note of how you respond to what you've read; your feelings)
3. Prayer (asking God for insight)
Contemplation (allowing God to really connect with you)

Do we really believe that God wants to get through to us? He does! Prayer isn’t just one-way communication; it's meant to be two-way communication.

LISTENING PRAYER
We often think of prayer as talking to God, but it’s really meant to be a dialogue with Him. Often when we pray we do all the talking. You might think, “But God never has anything to say.” We're not likely to hear Him respond in an audible voice; instead, He uses the still small voice that comes to us in a thought, insight, impression, or perhaps a feeling. Part of prayer should include silence and listening.

One way to encourage ourselves to spend more time listening in prayer is to ask questions of God. The psalmists, whose psalms are often prayers, did this. For example, one psalmist asked, “Why, O Lord, do you reject me and hide your face from me?” (Psalm 88:14) The psalmist asked an honest-to-God question. We often think of prayer as asking God for things; how about using prayer to ask a question?

Try once to spend your whole prayer time just listening. Go to God with an open mind, heart, and soul, and see what you come away with!

We don't have to say anything in prayer. That probably won't be our regular practice, but it's good to do once in a while. During the winter I sometimes see a couple of men ice fishing together. Maybe they're talking, but there's a good chance that they're not. They're just enjoying each other's company as they sit there on the ice. Prayer can be a time of just seeking to enjoy God's company.

PARTS OF PRAYER
We should practice some silence in our time with God, but usually a good part of it will involve talking to Him. What should we say? At the risk of implying that prayer has to include certain things, let me suggest four elements that over a period of time should all be a part of prayer. They’re easy to remember, because the first letters of the four parts spell the word ACTS.

Adoration – tell God how great He is! Praise Him; pay Him compliments. Express words of worship.

Confession – be honest with God. Confess your sins; share your struggles. Reveal the darkest parts of you to the light of His presence.

Thanksgiving – express your gratitude for what He's done for you or for people you know; be appreciative. Few things are better to pull you out of the dumps than going over a list of reasons you’re thankful to God. Have an attitude of gratitude in prayer.
Supplication – ask God for His help and blessings for others and for yourself. We need God and His help. Requesting, and in faith believing, can unleash God's good, perfect will in our lives.

Don't make this a mechanical thing. You don't have to include all four of these in every prayer; however, they should all be a part of our conversations with God on a regular basis.

Find a regular time and place to meet with God. Keep a daily appointment to have a conversation with Him! Then just chat with Him off and on throughout the day. Remember what Teri said to the woman she was counseling: the Lord is with us all the time, through each day, every step of the way. Let's not ignore Him!